I'm Audie Cornish, and this is the Assignment. And I really wanted to do an episode looking back at the big pop culture moments, but honestly, those are getting weirder and like harder to pin down. So ...

Sportswriting clichés are legend, and March Madness is the worst of it. Everyone's tickets are punched for the big dance and a chance at a Cinderella story. I mean, you get the idea. But right now, ...